This morning I saw a picture that I cant seem to get out of my head, due to the pure stupidity of the statement and how angry it made me. It read:

“Obesity deaths 280,148. Firearms deaths 8,538. Looks like you cheeseburger is far more dangerous than my gun.”

Let me clarify I am not anti gun person but please let me explain why this statement is idiotic,. First comparing a gun to a cheeseburger is just flat wrong, because ONE cheeseburger will not kill you, or even begin to make you obese, similarly to how one bullet by its self will not kill you. Both take a system the cheeseburger has to be compiled with years of bad eating habits, the bullet has to be pared with a gun. Secondly there are healthy choices when it comes to burgers so saying having a cheese burger will make you obese and eventually die is simply retarded, yet a gun has the power to kill every time. A cheeseburger is not designed to kill, a gun is, that is a guns purpose, weather it be for hunting, protection, or murder, a gun is a machine designed to kill. Next a huge difference between obesity deaths and firearms is obesity is a series of personal choices to eat unhealthy, I would like to emphasize personal choice. To be killed by a gun by someone else is not a personal choice, someone else (the gun owner) takes away your right to live. That is why gun are way more dangerous that obesity, it gives people the right to take away someone else’s life against their will.  So if you want to keep the right to keep your gun, show that you can think, instead of showing the government that you don’t have reasoning power and are clearly dangerous if allowed to continue owning a gun. 

Iz my kitty!

These arrived for me today :)

You ready Co? Only 4 months left to train.

My spartan has a Mohawk

So here is the dealy-o on the drop life has on us. I really have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but I like how it sounds, So here it is. Tonight I saw Silver Lining Playbook, and I love, love, love movies about/ include mental illness. Now don’t worry if you haven’t seen the movie mental illness is not a spoiler, you learn about it in like the first 30 seconds. Now that that is cleared up, did I mention how much I LOVE mental illness movies. (Insert Joker jokes here) All kidding aside I have a maybe unhealthy interest in mental health. This movie unlike Girl Interrupted, or most other “mental illness” movies is not the worst or most crazy, it’s the subtle, functioning crazy we have all encountered but maybe not recognized.  The beauty is a look at the behind closed doors side of family life. I related to some of the characters “defects” and connected with knowing people just like other characters. Maybe other people are not as closely “involved” with the various insanities as I, but I found this movie, deeply personal, realistic, and insightful. 

And really, is life worth going through if you cant be a little crazy?

Youtube; at one point I was really big into the youtube scene, I watched The Joker Blogs before the first episode had 1000 views and joined their website before it had 100 members, I watched as Shane Dawson became famous and his work got more and more outlandish, =3 got better cameras, celebrity hosts, and moved to LA, Julian Smith put his work on itunes, totally sketch became a film maker and I watched as this generation of youtubers became rich, famous, and started collaborating. This was a very exciting time, and the people apart of really changed a major way in which we entertain ourselves. In some aspects this made the quality of entertainment go down, but it also raised the accessibility of becoming an entertainer, and celebrity. You no longer had to have a $90,000 camera, production team, and a four year education in film, all you needed was drive, and a web cam and access to the  internet. This to me is the biggest beauty of youtube, that talent can be realized, not because you had enough money to fly to Hollywood, and got found, but simply because you were able to announce and prove your talent to the world, and the public decided what they liked.

Youtubers are weird people, or at least they appear so on their channels (the ones I watch anyway). I though I’m weird and I like the scene, so I’m going to jump on this boat. I did and was mildly successful, I had a few hundred subscribers and over 50,000 views, but I realized I just not really cut out for the youtube fame waggon. The self promotion that is required is unbelievable, and I’ve always wanted to be known for what I’ve done not who I am. I want to make films, not 2 to 10 min sketches, or blogs, my life is simply not important or entertaining enough to document on film like they do, or that is required to hold an audience. So for a while I left, I didnt even watch other people’s stuff. I was completely uninterested, but lately I have slowly regained my interest, and found the humor I seem to have forgotten. With that said sometimes I would still like to be apart of the youtuber crowd, especially on days like today when I watch youtubers that because of youtube have been able to do the things they have always wanted like make “real” films and make videos with the production value of a Hollywood movie. I just don’t think I have the attention span, or commitment to actually ride this thing out to its potential, so I will sit back and enjoy the free entrainment provided to me. 

These are my thoughts today.

I have a vast reach with the directions I want my life to go in, but over the past few years there have been a few “places” in which I want to go. These decisions have been highly influenced by the people who inspire me, and without fail these people allow me to find focus in what I want and what I need to do.

Through out my life, which is admittedly short I have wanted to be many different things, a motorcycle riding ballerina and 1st female president among the choices, but few have stayed with me as much as filmmaking. When I was younger this goal was all about me, I wanted to be the writer, director, actor, make up artist, you name it and I wanted to take on that role in the films I was making, this is not to say I dont want to do all of these parts, but growing older I have recognized that working together on something, often will create better results (especially in film). More importantly though I have realised that, helping people reach their dream, is wonderfully gratifying, and film is a fantastic platform to help the world on a greater scale. This is where I introduce, one of the most influential/ inspirational people for me, Olen Rodgers. For anyone reading who has never been lucky enough to be introduced to his work I sugest taking some time to look him up on youtube or on his tumblr. Im not going to spend time describing what he does because  the immportance of him for me does not come from the content of his videos, ( I do love them though) but his persistance to always better what he is doing, and how he uses what he has to help other people. He is one of the most positive people I dont know. I also want to say I am generally not this drawn to people I do not know, but his positivity, generosity and tallent, make him one of the people that make me want to make films, share with the world, and change my not so well mannered ways, while at the same time making me want to stick up for who I am, and celebrate how I am diffrent from him, and everyone else, and thrive as me.

The next person I would like to mention is Rachel. (Ayla’s photography) Every time I have a photo shoot with her I leave feeling better about myself and positively beautiful. She produces amazing art, is humble, and is always more interested in the art than the money. Her generosity stretches to people she barley knows, and she is just nice to be around. I am always trying to come up with unique costumes and makeup so I can have an excuse to work with her again. Without her, not only would my portfolio be quite small, but I don’t think I would have ever taken my modeling seriously.

Finally, this last year Dustin Dorough has given me something to be passionate about. Superman’s Hospital Heros is a great cause that caught my attention, and has held it since he announced he would be doing it. He has brought to the fore front that I want to help people, and I want to be apart of an organization or community that makes that a priority. Also he is a sometimes a relentlessly positive person. He makes me want to work out (which is quite a feat) and makes sleeping in my car seem perfectly reasonable if it helps reach one of my goals.

For those of you who know me, in, really, any capacity, know I am a little, tiny bit joker obsessed. So it my surprise you that all of the people in this have been people who are overly generous, and kind people, but the reality of the situation is the joker is a character that is fun, something to take out of this world, and when I am truly inspired I am hard wired into reality, and find the most gratification when I am helping someone who needs it, in whatever capacity that might be. The people who motivate me the most are not always the MOST talented, BEST in their field, or MOST accomplished people, but they are the people who stay positive through their adversity, work hard for what they want, and who consider the needs of other people.

Of course, being, well, me, I have to say that Scott McClure is also greatly inspirational. And if you have no idea who this is, well shame on you, how are we friends? You should know that this is the creator of “The Joker Blogs” who also plays the joker in the series. “The Joker Blogs” was the first time I ever contributed to an indygogo campaign, which was a radically eye opening experience I have repeated many times. The beauty in being able to have a choice in what gets made, and knowing I helped in the process of someone realizing their dream, is what I am all about. Besides that Scott is a damn good filmmaker.

There are more people and things in this world that inspire me, but I am currently uninspired to write anymore, so, good night.